week 0: the bet

burning the boats

an excerpt from my morning pages this week:

“in one year’s time, i’m going to be making more money off of BIRU than my two jobs combined. this series is necessary. i can’t fuck around anymore.”

the bet is this: i’m giving myself 365 days to make $4000 dollars a month from my art.

when i was a teenager, i used to go to a youth group at my church every sunday night after the evening service. 

i remember this one specific time when we all sat in a circle and were made to go around and tell everyone what we wanted to do for our careers.

at least three of my friends said they wanted to be lawyers. then it was my turn.

at age thirteen, i said with total confidence: “i want to be a self-employed artist.”

our youth leader smiled sarcastically at me, and said: “isn't that what we all want?”

manifesting my future at age 14…

after posting the intro video to my new series this week, i got into a conversation with one of my friends. 

i told him that while committing to such a specific and ambitious goal publicly is very motivating, it’s also intimidating.

and he said: “burn the boats mentality.”

there’s no going back now. i’m not ready for this- not in the slightest. i’m broke and terrified, yet the dreams in my heart continue to beckon to me. and i know that i won’t reach those dreams by hiding behind self deprecating jokes and videos that are “good”, but don’t clearly show that i’m building something.

i can’t pretend like this isn’t what i want- like this isn’t what i’ve always wanted.

i have to start before i’m ready. 

i’m creating this series to hold myself accountable to my goals, but also because i believe that the online world is severely lacking in transparent artists who have chosen to document their process of becoming, and all the obstacles that they face on the way. 

this week, i asked several artists this question: 

“what do you wish artists on social media shared MORE of?”

these were the responses i got:

“thoughts, doubts, stuff like that.” - aslak

“their struggles, what are the challenges they are facing, and how they are overcoming them.” - che

“more conflicts, struggles.” - stu

all that beginner artists have when they’re first starting out are toxic mainstream myths like the “starving artist” and “tortured artist”, glamorous day in the life vlogs from big city creatives who have already made it, and raised eyebrows from authority figures who say things like, “isn’t that what we all want?”

i’m here to demystify the journey of “making it.” and we’re starting right here, from zero.

i want to treat this newsletter as a check in point every week- a place where i’ll be sharing the real numbers, details, and deeper thoughts that can’t be compressed into a 60 second reel. 

i’m very grateful to have you here for the ride.

now we begin.

WEEK 0 SCOREBOARD

EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: 53

PRINTS SOLD: 0

REVENUE: $0

GOAL: $4000 / month

if you’re reading this, thank you for believing in me so early on.

love always,

BIRU