journal fragment (10/18/23):

i cannot run away

i’ve tried, but to no avail

you are all over me

my hands are covered in your blood

your reflection is in my eyes

i see it whenever i look at myself in the mirror

i wish more than anything that i could experience life without it

i hope, i pray, that reincarnation is real

oh, what i wouldn’t give for a second chance

alas, it is no use to shrink away

to mourn

to surrender to you and let you win

i said it ends with me and i meant it

i might regret this forever

but here i am

standing in front of you

ready to take you on