journal fragment (2/2/24):

i cannot spend another day crying

i will not be paralyzed by fear

i will not allow the grief to dictate my every move

the blood is proof that i am alive

i am still here

and nothing & no one can get rid of me

no prayer can change me

no god can save me

i am alive

my heart is pumping blood and it is red

my soul aches for what it cannot change

but this is how it is

i made a vow to fight for the rest of my life

and i have no intention of backing down now

i will live

and stay living

until it’s time for my body to return to the earth

and my soul to return to hell

let me burn